Missive Dated April 12

It was in the papers again yesterday morning. I could have spent all day reading it, but I didn’t. I still never told anyone what you told me, don't worry. You never said anything about writing about it though. So truth only comes out line after line after all. Or so they say.

When you didn’t come home last month like you promised, mother cried. I just thought you should know that as there does not seem any other way of getting you to listen or care about what has been happening at home since you left so abruptly last winter. For mum and dad its like its never gotten any warmer. I am no comfort to them as I was never their pride and joy like you were. I just sit here writing you letters night after night and never sending them.

I guess I am going to go ahead and send this one to you because I know you are going to want to be assured that I never told anyone. I am sure whatever big city job you have now has kept you plenty busy but I am sure no matter how busy you get that it still haunts you. I think about it almost every day, even though I try not to. Maybe you left just so you would not be surrounded by all these things that remind you. I wish I could do that. I like to think that you have escaped it, but I doubt you have. I have to admit that a part of me hopes that you will suffer a bit. I hope that does not make me a bad person. You know that I love you and hope you find happiness somehow, wherever you are.

Benny comes by every weekend asking about you. I keep telling him not to keep coming, but somehow he seems to be in denial that you ever left. He always comes with that same stupid grin that he had every day when you two were kids and he would ask you to come and play. Even now nothing can break his spirit. He still seems to expect to see you sitting in your usual chair in the living room when he bursts through the door unannounced as if he owns the place. I really should have a talk with his mother about that. Sometimes he can be a bit dense when it comes to manners but I still love him like a brother. You know he wouldn’t hurt a fly.

I would try to convince you to come visit us by telling you that I am baking a chocolate cake for your birthday, because it’s your favorite, but I know it wouldn’t make any difference. What’s done is done.