Fractions of a Thought

... and returning home, I read from The Book of the Here and Now. How long must I kneel before the errent race, holding nothing but the face of a young welkin. Their piercing gaze judges me. My future glowing with uncertainty, but I carry on, hoping one day to hold hands with Clarity. The next few steps will be spent pandering to the gazes of weak pedestrian fledglings. A flawless repayment would not be enough to please these people. Only the appearance of perfect obiedience will please them. I make my plans on my own time but...

I am here now in Isling Junction like you requested. I was annoyed but not surprised that you did not come to get me at the station. I must say it’s a little lonely and embarrassing to be kept waiting in one place in a town full of strangers. Isling Junction is a big city you know. There are almost four thousand people they told me. Do you expect me to find what I am supposed to be doing here on my own, do you? I can’t read your mind. I hope you don’t mind I took the liberty of checking in to the David’s Inn and I have a room there. So I will wait at the tables there for you if you are actually coming. Don’t expect me to wait forever. I have made up my mind to buy a ticket back home on Saturday if you don’t show. Don’t come making excuses later that you never got my messages. I am well aware of just how reliable the Missive Service is. If I am not there when you arrive, just stay there because I have probably gone window shopping or something. The hills know just how long I have w

Since after yesterday I could finally walk around outside without drawing shame, I decided to go for a walk in some of our old stomping grounds because you have been on my mind so much recently. I was surprised and of course quite angry to find that you have kept at least one other of your projects lying around for just anyone to find. Mind you, I don’t know anyone else still alive who knows about the existence of Hilvert Cave, so I guess it is fairly safe where it is for the time being. There is no way I would even try to go near it anyway. Not after what happened last time. Mum always told me that I should be more considerate of things like you are. But I would have to say this is not very good example you are setting. Fulfilling your promise and coming home this month to take care of these discarded hopeless causes would at least give us an opportunity to see each other. You know we care about you despite all of this. I was surprised when I realized Benny has not stopped b

It took long enough to get it all ready, but your solution worked almost immediately. No more shakes. I learned from doctor on his last visit that the rumors have returned about the mines dimming again. I know you always thought any discussion about the mines to be simply trite, but a lot of people here depend on the volume and luminosity. When people always debated over the mines in our living room back we could have regular visitors, your thoughts were always on other things, never on the cares and worries of the ward and its people. I always figured you as someone who could never keep focus, but I had that wrong. You focus was always just somewhere else. I can’t imagine any place you could have wound up where this dust wouldn’t make a an actual difference in the end. I know what people use it for. I am not stupid. I went to school just like everyone else. In your personal studies and your secret experiments here, I am sure you found big important things that turn ears i

You would call me a fool just like you always do whenever I do something impulsive. I went out to the shed to look at it again, promising myself I wouldn’t go near it. Next thing I know, my hand was reaching out and I touched it. Before you get upset, I want you to be assured that I will be fine. I really don’t know what possessed me to do such a thing. Mother had to call doctor and had of course no explanation why my arm was twitching uncontrollably without ceasing. We were lucky the doctor chalked it up to some kind of nervous disorder. He gave me some medicine to quell the effects, but i still am forced to write this with one hand as it does not work that well. Force of habit at this point to write to you about anything of note. It would feel wrong not to. Anyways, I am going to have see doctor more until we can figure something out. You don’t have to worry about us saying a word. Dad and Mum would never risk the ward. I know its hard for you to get long messages to me f

I went out to the shed to look at it again yesterday. I can’t believe you worked on it so long without any of us noticing. It’s kind of remarkable come to think of it, even though we will never be able to show it to anyone. It gives me kind of a demented pride to think that someone from our birth level could have done it. We. You. When I think back to the more simple times when it was just us as kids laying on our backs out in the fields on the side of the hill; imagining a life or a fate or future outside of the mines. When we noticed the globs cresting the rise, you would make fun of me for calling them ‘globs’ and tried to teach me whatever they are really called. I still never understood how you knew how everything worked. Imagining us living in such a mass even today fires the imagination. If someone told me even now that you lived in one and traveled the world in such luxury, I would have to say I believed them. You certainly have the talent that they are always

It was in the papers again yesterday morning. I could have spent all day reading it, but I didn’t. I still never told anyone what you told me, don't worry. You never said anything about writing about it though. So truth only comes out line after line after all. Or so they say. When you didn’t come home last month like you promised, mother cried. I just thought you should know that as there does not seem any other way of getting you to listen or care about what has been happening at home since you left so abruptly last winter. For mum and dad its like its never gotten any warmer. I am no comfort to them as I was never their pride and joy like you were. I just sit here writing you letters night after night and never sending them. I guess I am going to go ahead and send this one to you because I know you are going to want to be assured that I never told anyone. I am sure whatever big city job you have now has kept you plenty busy but I am sure no matter how busy you get tha